![]() PepsiCo's people are united by our unique commitment to sustainable growth by investing in a healthier future for people and our planet, which we believe also means a more successful future for PepsiCo. Our main businesses – Quaker, Tropicana, Gatorade, Frito-Lay and Pepsi-Cola – make hundreds of enjoyable foods and beverages that are loved throughout the world. Don’t take the easy way out.PepsiCo is a global food and beverage leader with net revenues of more than $65 billion and a product portfolio that includes 22 brands that generate more than $1 billion each in annual retail sales. ![]() Tim’s is fighting for wholesomeness, they stand for something. This is about more than chips, this is about freedom. Kettle chips are America’s pastime, and I won’t let you slander their good name. I won’t stand for this, and I won’t go down without a fight. If Lays think that they can just waltz into this category and shit out whatever their team comes up with, THINK AGAIN. They have no respect for the potato chip game. These chips aren’t worth the recycled plastic they’re packaged in. They have slandered the good name of the kettle chip category and don’t even deserve to be called a snack food. These Lays commit the worst sin by being unpleasant to eat and unsatisfying to taste. And sure, Tims are crunchy, but at least they don’t hurt to eat. It would almost be worth it if (after bearing through the horrific chewing experience) you were hit with a wave of salty goodness…or even flavor, but there is none to speak of. They shred the inside of your mouth and don’t even reward you for your food-inflicted mutilation. It’s like having your mouth crammed full of tree bark and being told it’s birthday cake. It could have been perfect, but instead, we got an overly-crunchy and under-salted piece of absolute fuckshit. There’s so much wasted potential: the lattice cut represents an ideal delivery system, allowing for salt and flavoring to sneak between the cracks and into the holes of the chip. In 2014 Lays released a lattice cut variety within their Kettle Chip line and betrayed any bit of faith I had in them up until that point. As a mega-corporation they obviously fall prey to many of the same pitfalls as Kettle, trying to diversify and even encouraging fans to think of wacky flavors but luckily their Kettle line has remained relatively pure. Since 2011 they’ve been doing surprisingly serviceable work, walking a fine line between just enough flavor variations and just the right quality. Now onto the main event: within the last five years, big dog Lays had swung their weight around and elbowed their way into the Kettle game providing a much-needed shake-up to the industry. So in case you’re wondering when I’ll bring up your “favorite chip” I won’t and you’re wrong. Lays are cheap, Pringles are a joke, and Cheetos are for children. Everything besides kettle chips are less than. Stick with what you know guys, don’t try to put bacon in my potato chip.Īs a quick aside, you may have noticed that I’m not talking about anything besides kettle chips, and that’s because I’m a chip racist. You know how many SKU’s Tims has? Fucking FOUR: Original, Sea Salt, Sour Cream, and Jalapeño. They tried too hard to diversify and diluted their entire brand in the process. Aside from Sea Salt and Salt & Pepper they are the chip embodiment of trying too hard. And I know what you’re thinking in your whiny little voice “but Taylor, what about Kettle Brand Potato Chips?” To that, I say SHUT THE FUCK UP. You could put a bowl of Tim’s out at a motherfucking barbecue on the fourth of July and no one would bat an eye, that’s how good they are. As a result, I can say with 100% certainty that Tim’s Cascade Style Potato Chips are objectively the pinnacle of the potato chip art form, and I will fight anyone that says otherwise. I know the history, I know the facts, I can guess the nutritional information in a serving size down to 20 kcals. By proxy, I’ve also become dangerously knowledgeable about potato chips. ![]() One of the few things I truly understand. They’re one of the only things I know inside and out. I may not have many skills in life, but one thing I have honed over my 23 years of existence is a delicate palate for PB&J sandwiches.
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